I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I currently don't understand fingers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
