wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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