i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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