i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
