I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
