i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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