you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
