Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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