So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
