so explain again why im purple
no
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
