I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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