apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
