why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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