so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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