if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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