Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
