At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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