her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
