I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
