We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
