I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize