How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My bed smells like the plague
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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