i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize