Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
