with your own penis?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
