i wish my penis had a tongue
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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