The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
