Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
