all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
