I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
