How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
