I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
