It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
