is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
