Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
