You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
