She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
