Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
