You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
