FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
