so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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