she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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