Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
worst night to have a conscience
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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