if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
