Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
BRING THE BAGELS
Bring me that man meat
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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