i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
