ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
