maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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