i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i may or may not be watching the land before time
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
