i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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