my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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