You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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