I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
