I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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