Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
