Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
