I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
