You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
