We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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