The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize