She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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