Girls should come with a carfax report
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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