butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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