Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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