did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
