Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
