& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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