After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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