Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
