Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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