he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
