The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
