I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
