He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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