You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
