u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize