I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize