he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
